My 25's

Friday April 14th, 2017 Growth manifesto To do, when doing is not easy. To say, when saying is not easy. To be, when being is not easy. To care, when caring is not easy. To love, when loving is not easy. How did I end up where I'm at? With very few tangibles to show for but with great relationships. With my parents, my brother, my sister, my sister-in-law, my nieces. As well as an incredible sense of direction, and the unconditional support of several people I've met in my journey so far.  Still, I yearn the achievements and successes. I yearn the tangibles and the recognition. So what has stopped me? These were a few of the thoughts plaguing my mind as I was traveling to Phoenix, AZ from Seattle, WA. And as my plane was experiencing turbulence a question came into my mind.  If you were to die right now, what would you regret? Not starting the project I've been meaning to start since the beginning of the year. Not asking that beautiful girl out. Not t...

Thursday, April 13th. 2017 Today was poorly planned and so I didn’t get much accomplished. I spent almost half of my day commuting. Still, I had a revelation. A shift in perspective.  As I was sitting on the bus for the 3rd hour in the day already, I noticed something peculiar in the bus. Everything. Every bolt, every cable, every sticker, every window, every piece of metal. This machine was the result of the work of hundreds of individuals, all of them with a single goal in mind. Building parts of a greater machine that will eventually be pieced together to create a transportation system for humans.  At the same time, as I looked outside of the bus’ window I wondered in nature’s beauty. One of the differences between us and nature is nature’s capability to create perfect systems where the concept of waste does not exist.  There lies my vision. A world where humans coexist with nature in a symbiotic way. No system harming the other. Humans celebrating each...

Wednesday, April 12th. 2017 A month ago I joined a Toastmasters Club with the hope of improving my public speaking skills. My hope was rightly placed; meetings are fun, people are truly vested in your growth, and speaking is as challenging as it is changeful.  On every meeting there is a different theme, which serves to guide the whole conversation for the night. This day's meeting theme was Unconditional Living. What does your ideal lifestyle look like? This question felt like a wake up call. A bucket of cold water to the face. What do I want? Where am I headed? Lately I’ve been focusing on all that my life is not, or similarly, everything I still need to improve on. But what about visualizing what my ideal life would look like? What would unconditional living mean to me?  One of the questions posed by the Tabletopics master, was: If you knew success was guaranteed and you couldn't fail, what would you do tomorrow? The answer came to me instantly. I already k...

Tuesday April 11th, 2017 As I was talking about the devil on my shoulder on a previous last post. I’d figure I would also share how I keep him at bay. Sometimes. Meditation. Exercise. Family  Meditation I’m no monk. I’m not even proficient at it, but I try to meditate constantly. In return, I have started to become aware of the voice whispering in my ear. I’ve started to take notice of it’s existence. And once I know he’s the one talking, I can choose to ignore him or not.  This has lead me to develop my own meditation, which I named Millennial Meditation. The reason why I named it was because it reminds me that I’m not the only one doubting my process. It reminds me of my place and time in the world. That, just like any other generation that has passed before Millennials, we have a short time in this earth and we shouldn’t take life too seriously. Exercise It's not only about staying healthy, I need it. I need the sweat, the strain, the work. If I ...

Monday April 10th, 2017 What makes a really productive day? Is it when you do all which you said you wanted to do, or is it when you do all which you have to do? I believe it’s a little bit of both. And today I did both. It’s ridiculous how procrastination can be so easily overcome. Just start. Figure out what are the things you need to have done by next week, prioritize them, and start working on the first thing on the list. You don’t even have to finish the whole task, just start.  Today was exactly that, work on a single to-do which had bugged me for the longest time.  Not a whole lot to report. Tomorrow there will be more life reflections on self-awareness. Miguel Nigenda

Sunday, April 9th. 2017 *beep – beep – beep… beep – beep – beep* My alarm goes off. I turn around to look at the clock, it’s 5am. I sit at the edge of my bed in one swift motion. And through the silence I hear a calm, soothing voice whispering on my right ear. -Go back to bed. OH, HELL NO. That’s the first time I noticed the devil on my shoulder. Breathing down my ear. Waiting. He knows me too well, my weaknesses and my biggest insecurities. Ready to monetize on them. Not smart enough, not strong enough, not rich enough, not handsome enough, not funny enough, not responsible enough, not fit enough. Average. Why bother? For example, after a hearty lunch: -You should have something sweet to end this amazing lunch with a high note But I don’t feel hungry anymore. I’ll just drink some water and stop eating. -But, don’t you feel like you need something sweet? Well, I do like eating sweets. -You ate a healthy lunch. You deserve that sweet. But I’m getting fat, I am not exer...

Saturday, April 8th. 2017 One year ago I was on day 3 of a 67 day experiment to wake up at 4:30am. This is that day’s entry: Day 3 – Friday, April 8th, 2016  Woke up,… Watched a lot of videos. Got motivated. Started excel online course.  Decided to become REALLY good at one skill: Excel. Then will come Finance, then R, then statistics, THEN python.  I still do not remember which videos I saw, but I would sure like to have seen them by day 15. Which is when this experiment ended. I did finish that Excel online course though. *self five* The reason why I mention this unsuccessful experiment is because two days later I had a very interesting entry. Day 5 – Sunday, April 10th, 2016 Woke up 4:30…. 5:30. Meditated, wrote about learning. First figure out what you know, then state what you want to learn and why. Studied Acupuncture. Brother came down told me about a Buddhist temple nearby. Decided to go. While going to get the bus, realized the bus went at a differ...

Friday, April 7th. 2017 I'm about to turn 25 in 20 days. I meant to start this blog 2 other times; one was on t - 30 days for my birthday, and the other one was at t - 25. I honestly liked the title "25 to 25", but like other projects in the past, I procrastinated. And so, we have 20 to 25. That being said, the intention of this blog is twofold. One is to document my thoughts and daily happenings from today until I turn 25. And the second intention is to develop the habit of writing. For the past year I've written so much. From actually buying a physical journal and writing on it every single day, to creating random documents on Word and writing several pages on specific thoughts. Example titles include; Maturity, Moving Forward, The Journey of Buddha, and more recently, Transgender: among the bravest of us all, and  Pulling Both Ways. Writing is as therapeutic as it is meditative for me. It allows me to clear my mind, define my thoughts, and immortalize ...