Why this blog? & Expectations

Friday, April 7th. 2017

I'm about to turn 25 in 20 days.

I meant to start this blog 2 other times; one was on t - 30 days for my birthday, and the other one was at t - 25. I honestly liked the title "25 to 25", but like other projects in the past, I procrastinated. And so, we have 20 to 25.

That being said, the intention of this blog is twofold. One is to document my thoughts and daily happenings from today until I turn 25. And the second intention is to develop the habit of writing. For the past year I've written so much. From actually buying a physical journal and writing on it every single day, to creating random documents on Word and writing several pages on specific thoughts. Example titles include; Maturity, Moving Forward, The Journey of Buddha, and more recently, Transgender: among the bravest of us all, and  Pulling Both Ways.

Writing is as therapeutic as it is meditative for me. It allows me to clear my mind, define my thoughts, and immortalize states of mind. While my platonic writing scenario is located on a room at a high tower, overseeing a big city and the surrounding nature, with a girlfriend practicing a musical instrument by my side. I relish sitting on the floor, preferably with a cup of coffee or green tea and my water bottle by my side, and giving myself into my writing for as long as my thoughts stay with me. Other seating configurations I enjoy for writing are; on the couch, at the dining table, or on small tables at coffee shops. 

Now, why write this blog now? Why not 5 days ago, 10, 30, 90 or before? Well, to be honest, the main reason is pressure. After 6 months of deliberating on whether to start documenting my journey, or keep planning on it. I now feel an inmense pressure on myself due to the fact that I'm about to turn 25 years old and I don't feel like I have created anything for myself. 

Society and I have certain expectations of people my age. Owning a car, having a stable job with a decent salary, living by yourself, experiencing worldly adventures (traveling). And at the same time, I have another set of expectations for myself. To learn another language, become proficient at coding in at least one language, know how to dance, develop strong communication skills, negotiation skills, selling skills, wake up early every day, eat healthy, be physically fit, write constantly. And my biggest one right now, work for myself as hard as I work for others. Meaning, I know that I can work 14 hour days when the employment situation requires me to, but for some reason if I want to write from 10 to 11pm, I'm falling asleep by 10:20pm.

Evidence_1 of Miguel's narcolepsy problem

Having said that, I will use the next post to talk about what Ive learned so far from my -almost- 25 years, but more specifically from the last year. Along with the few habits I've tried to develop during this time.

But for now, time to enjoy the Buddhist New Year.

Miguel Nigenda