One Year Ago...

Saturday, April 8th. 2017

One year ago I was on day 3 of a 67 day experiment to wake up at 4:30am. This is that day’s entry:
Day 3 – Friday, April 8th, 2016  Woke up,…
Watched a lot of videos. Got motivated. Started excel online course.  Decided to become REALLY good at one skill: Excel. Then will come Finance, then R, then statistics, THEN python. 
I still do not remember which videos I saw, but I would sure like to have seen them by day 15. Which is when this experiment ended. I did finish that Excel online course though. *self five*

The reason why I mention this unsuccessful experiment is because two days later I had a very interesting entry.
Day 5 – Sunday, April 10th, 2016
Woke up 4:30…. 5:30.
Meditated, wrote about learning. First figure out what you know, then state what you want to learn and why. Studied Acupuncture. Brother came down told me about a Buddhist temple nearby. Decided to go.
While going to get the bus, realized the bus went at a different time than stated on google maps. Decided to run to the library to catch up the bus. Faced my fear of rejection: asked for a hitchhike to the library. Met Tyler, who took me all the way to the temple. Once your mind expands, it cannot go back to its original state (Tyler).
Spent the whole day celebrating the New Year at the temple. Learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and made a lot of new friends. Got a ride back from Synonm.
And this is interesting for three reasons; this date marked the beginning of a year of learning and change, I embarked on an turbulent self-awareness process, and I became aware of what I can accomplish when I take chances. 

  1. A year of change. As I write this blog post, sitting on the floor listening to the Under Pressure album from Logic, I realize that this last year -filled with what I was calling failures- was truly a year of intense self-awareness. Achieved by meditations, life experiences and self-doubt.
  2. Self-awareness. I know what motivates me, what doesn't, how I make decisions, what I’m good at and what I’m not so good at. Overall, I know how I’ve been thinking, that has lead me to act in a certain way, which has lead me to be where I am and have what I have.
  3. The environment. By taking that initial chance to go to the temple a year ago, I was able to follow that with others. And every time that I took a chance I enjoyed good fortune.
  • Cold called the CEO of a recycling company in MA: Remembered my passion/love for nature and its protection.
  • Went to talk to the CEO of another recycling company in WA: Defined my direction within the environmental industry. 
  • Got into selling insurance: Gave me additional tools and skills. 
  • Kissed the girl: went out with a beautiful girl, had fun, and found courage to follow on my passions. 
  • Cold called the HR director of a company to get job and then called contacts to get recommendation letters for job: Got a job offer with them!

In between all of these events I’ve also suffered a great deal. Always conflicted between where I am and where I want to be. Striving to become better by starting on multiple activities, but never truly following up on them. Exercising regularly, dieting, studying a foreign language, coding. And while none of those activities have stayed as a habit, I realize that I’ve found ways of NOT doing them. 

Instead of beating myself up for not reaching my high expectations (YET), I realize that my current reality does not dictate my future reality. Just as I learned how to walk and talk, I know I can learn anything I commit myself to doing. And I will. 

Miguel Nigenda

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