The devil on my shoulder
Sunday, April 9th. 2017
*beep – beep – beep… beep – beep – beep*
My alarm goes off. I turn around to look at the clock, it’s 5am. I sit at the edge of my bed in one swift motion. And through the silence I hear a calm, soothing voice whispering on my right ear.
-Go back to bed.
OH, HELL NO.
That’s the first time I noticed the devil on my shoulder. Breathing down my ear. Waiting.
He knows me too well, my weaknesses and my biggest insecurities. Ready to monetize on them. Not smart enough, not strong enough, not rich enough, not handsome enough, not funny enough, not responsible enough, not fit enough. Average. Why bother?
For example, after a hearty lunch:
Emotions are powerful. It is the energy within ourselves. It elevate us when we fall in love, and at the same time it can keep us humble through grief.
What I’ve been trying to develop this last year is a way to control the wild emotions, the undisciplined emotions. Which like a kid throwing a tantrum, can be equally annoying and destructive.
Next I’ll go into what I’ve been doing to keep them at bay, or to at least mitigate their influence over me. In other words, I’ll share my way of empowering the angel on my other shoulder.
Miguel Nigenda
My alarm goes off. I turn around to look at the clock, it’s 5am. I sit at the edge of my bed in one swift motion. And through the silence I hear a calm, soothing voice whispering on my right ear.
-Go back to bed.
OH, HELL NO.
That’s the first time I noticed the devil on my shoulder. Breathing down my ear. Waiting.
He knows me too well, my weaknesses and my biggest insecurities. Ready to monetize on them. Not smart enough, not strong enough, not rich enough, not handsome enough, not funny enough, not responsible enough, not fit enough. Average. Why bother?
For example, after a hearty lunch:
-You should have something sweet to end this amazing lunch with a high note
But I don’t feel hungry anymore. I’ll just drink some water and stop eating.
-But, don’t you feel like you need something sweet?
Well, I do like eating sweets.
-You ate a healthy lunch. You deserve that sweet.
But I’m getting fat, I am not exercising as I was before. I’ve gained 10 lbs already.
-But you don’t look that fat.
Yes I do.
-Damn, you must feel bad then. Have a sweet, that always makes you happy.
I guess I should.
…
-You only had one, have another.
Why not? I’m already doing it.
…
I’m getting too fat. I’m going to go on a juice cleanse for a week, lose 10 lbs and then I’ll start eating healthy. Like a reboot.
-Hey, since you’re going to do that. Why don’t we enjoy our last day of binge eating. Go all out.
Emotions are powerful. It is the energy within ourselves. It elevate us when we fall in love, and at the same time it can keep us humble through grief.
What I’ve been trying to develop this last year is a way to control the wild emotions, the undisciplined emotions. Which like a kid throwing a tantrum, can be equally annoying and destructive.
Next I’ll go into what I’ve been doing to keep them at bay, or to at least mitigate their influence over me. In other words, I’ll share my way of empowering the angel on my other shoulder.
Miguel Nigenda
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